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Rules of Engagement: Self-care

I know I know, there simply over a million plus hashtags using the "buzz word", Self-care. You might wonder what all of the hype is about or rather just think that is a trend that is going to phase out. The later of which I hope doesn't occur. Yes, it's a trend, but it's a trend that is absolutely required to on a day to day basis.

The rules are simple!

1. Learn the word, No.

It really does sound easy, but for so many people it's quite a task. How many times have you said yes to doing something that you really don't feel like doing or engaging with people when in all actuality you would just rather be at home in solitude? It's ok to raise your hand(s) as no one is here to judge as we all do it from time to time. The word No is so liberating and powerful. No means, not putting more on your plate than you can handle or are willing to deal with. If you are one that struggle with being a "yes-man" I want to implement at least one No into your week. It doesn't have to be major, but if it frees up mental space, won't potentially cause harm, and allow you to focus on you; say, "No".

2. Stop giving more than you Receive!

We've all heard the saying, " You can't pour from an empty cup." or at least some variation. That's not saying that we should only give or do in the hopes of receiving something back, but if you keep giving without being replenished, what will you have left for yourself? Again, you can't pour from an empty cup. This rule applies for all aspects of self; mentally, physically, spiritually, and monetary. You have to sustain you before you can of any help to others. This applies to work as well. If possible, take a mental health day...TAKE A MENTAL HEALTH DAY!!! Tell those in the back as well. Make sure to take the time to give back to YOU!

3. Pamper yourself.

Here is the fun part of self-care. This step is ESSENTIAL! It's also the rule that will always come to mind when you think of self-care. You need to treat yourself like the king or queen that you are. My favorite self-care activity is; soaking in a nice hot bubble bath with my face mask on while sipping a a buttery chardonnay while listening to 90s RnB. I recommend doing things that will bring you the most peace and happiness in the moment.

4. Meditate.

This is also a very essential rule, why? Because, it allows you a moment of self reflection. It also helps you to stop and be in the present, not the past or the future. No, you don't need to have to sit "Indian style" or say, "OM" a bunch of times. All you really need is a quiet place to sit and relax the body and mind. Meditation helps quiet the mind, reduces the voices in your head, and helps one be present and open for anything that may come to mind. Become more self-aware, practicing and developing a new level of consciousness, allowing yourself to experience more pleasure than that of your everyday task. The primary purpose of meditation practice is to facilitate progressive, authentic, personal and spiritual growth, which is one of the great means of self-care.

Why do we need self-care?

It is easy to get so caught up in daily life/work, kids, relationships, and commitments, that we leave no time for ourselves. The mornings are rushed; feed the kids, take a shower, throwing on clothes-- make-up, and then we dash out the door to work just to inhale a quick bite before that 9AM meeting.

Evenings are equally as rushed with just enough time to get dinner on the stove or order takeout. Hell, we feel like it's a win if we even get enough time to catch an episode of our favorite show.Nights turn into mornings as quickly as we lay our heads to our pillows.

Without making an effort to care of your well-being, you end up feeling worn out, lacking energy and your overall mood becomes shit, which are not only uncomfortable but can lead to bigger problems. Life's whirlwind can leave you stuck in a routine of losing sight of the bigger picture, never living in the moment.

Taking the time out for you, is easy and necessary. These rules aren't absolutes; there are several means to going about taking care of you. This just a g way to start the process.

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